Monday, March 30, 2015

Love Between Two Men, God's Way

    Life is an ever learning experience and each day brings growth and understanding as we move forward with faith and confidence that there is a God in Heaven and he is aware of us and our trails and struggles.

      Recently I was reading an article from one of my favorite sites,  The Good Man Project.  I love that site,  they have often some very good articles about life,  especially about being a man in today's world.  Some are really liberal, but there are many very good articles.  The one I was reading was titled "He and I Were Lovers But I Didn't Know It.

     That article prompted this article from me.  The more and more I read and study about SGA,  I am amazed at what the world is teaching us and how quickly we fall into what they are saying.  The "Gay" community would have us believe that most men to men relationships when there is an attraction should be sexual and that is the only way it can be.  Fact in point,  the average gay man will have over 1000 different partners in his lifetime. ( Source, Myth of Nonsexual Monogamy )  That is pretty good evidence that they believe men relationships are all about sex.

     I have learned some pretty amazing things in my journey, especially when it comes to men relationships and sex.  My heart aches when I see many men making choices that bring sadness and discouragement into their lives all for sex.  We are taught that the Natural Man is an Enemy to God,  Just what does that mean?   For me,  I believe that it means that when we follow the natural man we do things that are contrary to what God would have us do.  The world is all about following the natural man,  if you feel it do it.  That seems to be the common practice and council that is given.  A friend recently asked a councilor about some feelings he was having regarding SGA,  his advice was if he felt it, to act.  That is totally in contradiction to what God would have us do.  Just because we feel something or are moved in a certain way does not make it right.  We must take what we feel and make sure it is in perfect harmony with the teachings of God.  If it is not in harmony with his teachings then those feelings are coming from the Natural Man.  Remember, the Natural Man is an Enemy to God,  always has been and always will be.  

     Sex out side of the ordained marriage of man and woman is simply wrong. Regardless of what the world would say, that law will never change.   We are taught that sexual relationships are to be reserved between and man and woman who are married.  God condones that and only that.   

     The world would have us believe that if we love someone the natural thing to do is to show that love in a sexual way.  We are taught to believe that we cannot really love someone and not participate in sex.  Love and sex are two powerful and separate things.  Sex in a God ordained relationship enhances love and tenderness.  Sex outside of that brings sorrow and heartache.  It is not about love, it is about giving in to the Natural Man when we choose to have sexual relationships with those God has not approved.  

     I have learned and have to come to understand in a very deep way that two men can love each other with all their hearts without having a physically sexual relationship.   This may come to a surprise to the world, but is it totally possible for men to love each other without sex.  In fact I will state that the love between two men that do not add sex to the relationship becomes sweeter and deeper and more meaningful over time.   There is a greater sense of respect and when the natural man is put aside the relationship takes on a spiritual side that is impossible to reach when sex is involved.  

     The Natural Man is an Enemy to God especially when it comes to man to man relationships.  Sex is not needed, even though the feelings are strong and the desire might be great, that does not make it right.  Keeping in line with the truths that have been taught from the very beginning and are still in effect is what matters most and when we do follow Gods law we find in our relationships a greater strength and peace that can only come from obedience.  

     As modern day Christian Men, we need to put aside the Natural Man and in the process love our brothers as Christ would,  completely, honestly, and with integrity and goodness.  As we do this our lives can become filled with meaningful deep loving relationships that will bless us in ways the Natural Man cannot begin to understand.  When we put aside the Natural Man understanding begins to flow into our hearts and minds that gives us the strength to Love and be Loved in a deep meaningful way where sex in not even desired, wanted, or needed.   


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Tuesday, March 24, 2015

I have a Question? About Hugs....

       I receive frequent comments and questions on how men should act and what is appropriate man behavior.  I think we are confused in today's world on really what is acceptable behavior for men.  So I would like to address 3 of those questions in this blog with more to come, that I feel need to be openly discussed and viewed.

#1  Is it appropriate for men to hug other men?
Absolutely.  Hugging is an amazing way to express appreciation, loyalty, admiration, respect, friendship, and yes love.  Hugging is also a very amazing way to feel another mans spirit and build a stronger friendship.   Hugging actually can be a very personal revealing experience that takes down walls and opens hearts to better communication and understanding.

#2  How long should a hug last and what is considered appropriate and acceptable?
There are of course those quick slap on the back hugs that most men are comfortable with.  They last 2 to 5 seconds and it's over.  To get the real benefit out of a hug try hugging for more then 15 seconds.  It sounds like a short time, but for most men it seems like an eternity.  I personally like longer hugs where you actually hold rather then hug.  Meaning you hold the other man long enough to feel his spirit and give back.   It ultimately depends on the situation.  Some times hugs need only last a few seconds,  but there are times when a longer hug in needed and appreciated.   To be perfectly honest there are men out there that actually need to be hugged and held in a clean Christ like manner.  Hugging has an amazing way of filling a need and in the process of filling a need our cups are filled also.  I believe that spirits actually communicate with each other in a hug.

#3  Do men often get aroused when hugging other men?
Funny thing is, you would not believe how often that happens to men.  From a brief arousal to complete erection, it happens.  Most men are just to embarrassed to admit it or fess up.  It is perfectly normal and you have nothing to worry about.  A man's body responds to affection in different ways.  If that is one of the ways your body responds,  don't freak out,  you are just a normal man with a normal working body.   Often  times men assume that if that happens there must be something wrong with them and 2 things normally happen.  The first thing thing they do is they just stop hugging and they keep their distance from other men.  The second is they start to think maybe they are gay and they become homophobic.  Men,  so often the things we deal with and assume we are the only ones who have ever had that happen to,  guess what,  it happens to most men.  Just relax and enjoy the hug and don't worry about whats going on.  Remember,  you cannot control what your body does, but you have complete control on what you do with it.  So ultimately you are in control no matter what you manhood is telling you.   Your the boss.

     I personally think hugging is a wonderful thing and feel that it is an important part of building strong good friendships.  I think you can learn a lot about another man when you really hug him.  I also feel you can lift others and share the love you have for them through a hug better than any other way.  Often times words just are not enough to express how we really feel and when that happens nothing can compare to a warm loving hug.  I personally live for the day when the Savior takes me in his arms and embraces me in a hug with his perfect love.   Can you imagine what that will be like.  I can and I have come to understand a small part of that feeling when I hug other men who have the same desires  that I have.

     So to wrap it up,  hugging is great,  don't let the fact that your body might respond in a way you are not comfortable with keep you from enjoying hugging other men,  Don't let what society says about men hugging keep you from hugging other men.    How sad to let a little things like that keep you from enjoying the joy that can come from a real man hug.

Now go find someone to hug and enjoy the experience.

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