Life is confusing, to say the least. In today's crazy world where media and social pressure wants to dictate what we do and how we act it is even more important now then ever before that Dad's are the ones teaching their sons.
I grew up in a home where my father, who was raised by his grandmother had no clue about what to teach his sons. A wonderful man, but still clueless to what boys need to hear from fathers. I had to learn some things the hard way and over the years I as I have talked and communicated with other men I have learned that a lot of men could have used some simple council from their fathers. So with that in mind I decided to write about the "Some Things" that we all have wished our fathers would have told us.
The first one I really wish my father had explained to me is that it is OK to be different, in my case, soft, kind, and tender. I grew up in a home where sports were the standard and man stuff was the only thing tolerated. I hated sports. I loved to write poetry, draw, play with dolls, cook, dress up, and lip sing to records. I was not coordinated at all, I was fat and cried easily. I wish my father would have told me that it was OK if I didn't like sports. I would have loved to have been praised for my writing, creativeness, and flare. My father being who he was didn't understand the difference and in all fairness to him he really didn't know what to do with someone so completely different then him. He was stumped. Can you imagine a hard core cowboy, ruff and tuff to the bone man, with a son that was totally opposite in every way. He only reacted how any normal man would have. He thought his son was a girl in a boys body.
Now having said that, I have no hard feelings for my father. Was it hard living with him, yes. Do I love him, yes. We are very close and he admires me completely for the tender, kind man I am. He, like a lot of our fathers did the absolute best he could at the time.
The hard thing for me was not understanding who I was and why I was different. Is it OK to be different? Yes, that is the message we need to teach our children. If our boys are kind, sensitive, tender, we need to teach them that just like being a good athlete, those are gifts. Gift from God come in so many different ways and just because we don't understand does not mean the gift is not valid. As fathers we need to teach our sons that what the world teaches us about sensitive sweet, tender, men is not what the Lord teaches. He teaches that there are many gifts and we know that as our creator he has created us with a specific purpose, and when we follow him, we will come to understand the value of our unique differences.
Don't let the standard of the world or the teachings of the media dictate who we are and how we respond to the gifts we have. I for one believe that being a kind, tender, sensitive man is an amazing gift and as I have grown older I am grateful that I chose to magnify my gift as I follow the teachings of the Savior.
So for the number one thing I wish my father would have taught me would have to be that you are a man no matter what gifts you are given. It's OK to be different. It's OK to be kind and soft hearted. Just because you like to play with dolls, dress up, and lip sing, does not mean you are gay. It just means you are who God created you to be. I am proud to be who I am. I am different and often I am mistaken to be gay, but that's OK, I understand that God is my creator and I value his gifts and his judgement. Sometimes the understanding does not come until after the trail. But as we continue to follow Christ, the understanding will come and we will find great joy in our uniqueness.
Next Blog will be The Second thing I wish my father would have taught me. How my man body works.
Brad
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