Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Bromance.. What is a Bromance

Bromance is the big buzz word today.  It's the new friendship word.  It's also a word that is hugely misunderstood.  Bromance is often thought of as a gay word.  An acceptable word for being gay.  But it is not about being gay or having a sexual relationship with another man.  It is all about building positive healthy friendships.  Here are a couple of definitions that I have found.  One is from Wikapidia and the other is from Urban Dictionary.  

This is the definition according to Wikapidia 

bromance is a close, emotionally intense, non-sexual bond between two (or more) men. It is an exceptionally tight affectionalhomosocial male bonding relationship that exceeds that of usual friendship, that is distinguished by a particularly high level of emotional intimacy. 

Urban Dictionary  Bromance -noun 
1. A non-sexual relationship between two men that are unusually close.
2. The act of wooing a fellow male friend for the purpose of becoming closer.
3. Going to unusual lengths in an attempt to become closer with another male friend. -
 Also know as Man Crush:
Bromances are also called "man crushes" because of the level of affection the guys feel for each other. It is an intimate personal non-sexual relationship between men.  
  I have found that in today's world men are more than ever before seeking friendships. Not just friendship, but meaningful intimate relationships with other men.  Men crave and need to have tight, close relationships that exceed normal friendships. 

    Is it possible for men to have Bromances - a non-sexual, close relationship with another man?  It is possible and highly recommended.  Men need other men. 

    I started a group called JADE over a year ago. JADE is a group that meets monthly and was created to teach men how to have effective, healthy relationships with other men.    I have learned a lot about men and their needs since starting this group.  The number one thing I have found is that men need other men, and want close relationships with them.  Often times we think that only men that experience SGA or SSA want or need other men in their lives.  I have found that most men desire close meaningful relationships with other men.  There is an in-born need to have those types of friendships in our lives.  When needs are filled by having these close healthy relationships, men are better adjusted and happier. 

     Men need intimate, close relationships, now more then ever.  Life is tough and men need emotional friendships to lift them through the tough times.  There is just something about having the support of another man on the Journey.  Men think alike and understand each other.  Close, intimate relationships between two men can offer uplifting strength to overcome the challenges faced in today's world.  Men were, and are still meant to be in close-knit relationships that offer more than just a casual friendship.  

     I have learned from all the men I have interviewed and talked with over the past couple years that men who take the time to take down the walls; to let other men into the private workings of their hearts and minds, enjoy a life that is more balanced and content.  
I have found that men who experience SSA or SGA benefit from developing close intimate relationships with other men.  The strong desires to act out on those desires is greatly diminished, or often it even leaves.  When men are able to develop and enjoy meaningful intimate friendships life just gets better.  

     That just proves to me what I believe in my heart to be true.   We need each other and we are designed to be close.  When we deny that eternal need to bond with our brothers, we deny the greatest blessings in our lives.  I for one love and enjoy the wonderful, meaningful friendships that I have developed over the years.  I have learned when I meet a man and feel a connection to him, and act on those feelings, the end result is always  meaningful life-blessing friendships.  

      It does take courage in today's world to admit you want a bromance in your life.  It takes courage to admit you might have a man crush.  Does that mean you are gay? It doesn't have to.  It means you are following the God-given desire to enjoy closer, more meaningful relationships with your eternal brothers.  I for one enjoy great Bormances in my life  and I do have an occasional man crush.  The benefit is I have many wonderful friends that bless my life in ways you cannot understand until YOU experience a Bromance of your own.   

Have a great one.
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1 comment:

  1. This is AWESOME. Maybe we don't have to talk about being SSA or SGA or GAY...we can talk about being BROMANCE deficit. It would be great to get the sex out of the conversation, unless we want it to be there. Thanks.