Monday, April 13, 2015

I AM NOT GAY....But....

     My daughter last night told me she was talking with a friend and the friend asked her "Is your father gay?".  Needless to say my daughter was shocked.  The friend told her that is the rumor going around, that her dad is gay.  He said it had something to do with a blog or something like that.  My sweet daughter kindly informed him that no, her Dad was not gay.  She said that he was a kind man and yes he did love other men, but mostly assuredly he was not gay.

     If the story stopped or started there it would be fine, but as it continues,  my wife get comments from long term friends with statements like "I knew your husband was gay" or " Is Brad gay and how are you with that".  Or people will tell me that their first impression of was that I was gay. Amazing that people can assume so much from statements made, first impressions, rumors,  or titles off my Blog.

     It is obvious to me that they have never taken the time to read the entire blog and really don't know me at all.  If they had read the blog or knew me, they would understand and realize that I am not a Gay man.  It is obvious to me that they are part of that judgmental closed-minded group of people that assume if you don't fit the norm of what a man should be you must be Gay.

    Wake up world.  That is part of the problem.  What gives you the right to place names on people because they don't fit your mold?  Cannot a man voice personal feelings of tender feelings towards another man and not be labeled Gay?  Where is it written that if a man loves another man that he must be Gay?   Why can two women have a tender relationship and it is considered normal, but if two  men desire a more personal intimate friendship they are considered Gay or something is wrong with them.

Cannot a man be tender?
Cannot a man be sensitive?
Cannot a man be feminine?
Cannot a man hug another man?
Cannot a man embrace another man?
Cannot a man crave friendship with another man?
Cannot a man be emotional?'
Cannot a man be not be a jock?
Cannot a man love chick flicks?
Cannot a man cry in public?
Cannot a man need to be understood?
Cannot a man find another man attractive?
Cannot a man be attracted to another man?

    I say yes to all of the above.  They can do those and more and not be a Gay man.

A Gay man is a man who willingly participates in inappropriate sexual conduct with another man.  PERIOD

With that definition,  I AM NOT A GAY MAN.  I have no desire to have that type of relationship with another man.

Just in case you have not read my blog is it all about creating healthy relationships with men.  It is about teaching men who struggle Same Gender Attraction and don't know what to do.  It's about men who just want healthy friendships with other men and don't quit know what to do.  Does that mean I am Gay because I see and understand a need in our society?  Evidently it does or so it would seem by the comments of some.

Please find out all the facts before you label anyone.  Regardless of whether it has to do with SGA, or any other things you might not understand.  We have to be cautious as we judge others.  Feelings can be tender and bruised easily by words or actions spoken in hast without knowing all the facts and the person.

On a better note,  thanks to all of you who understand and support what I am doing and have taken the time to read my blog or simply ask me where I stand.  I appreciate your support and love.

Have a great day.

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  1. Thank you so much for writing this! I can definitely identify with the truths that you've presented. When I picture Christ, I certainly don't envision a stoic, emotionally-sterile man who simply gives other guys handshakes. The Christ I know is one who loves and isn't afraid to show that love towards others, including men! Men in our time are terrified to be labeled as "gay" so they shy away from this vulnerability by suppressing their emotions and stiffening their necks. Wouldn't showing love heal our hearts and homes more than stifling it?! (sorry - I didn't intend to get on my soapbox. I just agree with the sentiment of this blog)

  2. Thank you so much for all you do in helping men establish good, strong, healthy relationships.

  3. Brad, you also just have half the understanding of what it is to be a man. I am a gay man, but few others believe me when I tell them so. I know many men, married with children, who are such sissies and even walk funny. It takes all sorts to have a diverse society. I quote you: "A Gay man is a man who willingly participates in inappropriate sexual conduct with another man. PERIOD." How and with whom two men want to have sex is their prerogative. To them it is not inappropriate. Many so-called heterosexual men, single or married have anal sex with a woman or experience such themselves.What does that make them? Legal & General"?? Now that equal rights are legal or getting there, Gay men are no longer to be pushed aside because str8, especially married, think they are the custodians of masculinity. I, and many thousands of Gay men, can do anything a str8 man can do, but certain things we, by choice, would not do. Man no longer need to go out and fill the earth - it is over-populated. Lots of things changed.